A man was found murdered on Sunday morning. His wife then called the police, and the police questioned the wife and staff and got these alibis: the wife claims she was asleep, the cook was cooking breakfast, the gardener was picking vegetables, the maid was getting the mail and the butler was cleaning the closet. The police instantly arrested the murderer. Who did it?

pararoses:

Does anyone else feel really guilty when they start talking about their own feelings and then immediately regret saying anything because you just feel so annoying and pathetic and ugh

16
4

kia-kaha-winchesters:

just the girly things

  • forcing an earing through a closed piercing
  • taking off tight clothes and rubbing the indents they left on your skin 
  • human sacrifice
  • homemade face masks 

flying-indigo-people-eater:

flying-indigo-people-eater:

one time in english our teacher was telling us about how a lot of shakespeare’s poems were about men and how shakespeare was bisexual and I whispered “shakesqueer” and my teacher lost it

this just came up on my dash and i was like “HEY YO ME TOO” and then I just

thestrawberrynymphet:

anyone wanna buy me $400 worth of clothing for nothing in return 

kushandwizdom:

ThisLoveQuote
21

randomalina:

windows phone is so cute. look at how the face changes when you get messages

image

"aw you don’t have any messages, it’s okay you’re still special"

image

"oh shit you got a message you hella speical"

image

"holy fuck cheese on a ball you hella popular better answer these people"

thelastmellophone:

mischievouslaufeyson:

sktagg23:

whoneedsfeminism:

I need feminism because I’m still charged 5% tax on sanitary products because they’re classed as ‘non-essential’ by the government. 

What the motherfuck.

Solve this by bleeding on everything they love.

*AGGRESSIVELY PROJECTILE BLEEDING AT POLITICIANS* ARE YOU FEELING IT NOW, MR. POLITICIAN?

heartmehateme:

shoutout to the friends that still like me

all two of you